


Sprained Ankle but I'm Human

by Katonica



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Cuddles, Diana - Freeform, Diana Valence, Domestic Avengers, Extremis, Fluff, Gen, LMAO, Lots of Cursing, Valence - Freeform, sprained ankle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-15 09:32:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14787956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katonica/pseuds/Katonica
Summary: There are a few problems when you're a human in a superhero team, and Diana isn't a superspy or a genius.One includes injuries.





	Sprained Ankle but I'm Human

**Author's Note:**

> Wanna meet a friend of mine? No? 
> 
> Well too bad. Meet Diana Valence.

"Holy Jesus fucking shits of the 50 stars on the American flag." Diana held her ankle, wincing as she fell down with a crash after Captain America had grabbed her other leg and flipped her around.

Steve had glanced at her disapprovingly until he noticed she was clutching her ankle, her face twisted into a painful wince. He pressed the call button, awkwardly mentioning to the team, "I think Diana needs a little help." Minutes later, the team had sprinted into the training room and watched Diana Valence mutter curses under her breath as she let out slow breaths. Tony's wonderful AI sunglasses scanned the girl, relaxing when F.R.I.D.A.Y. had just come up with a sprained ankle. 

"She'll be fine, it's just a sprained ankle." Diana stopped pitying herself and looked at the billionaire in horrified surprise.

"Just a sprained ankle? _Just-_ " She got up, taking one step before collapsing in a flurry of death threats and curses. They glanced at her in confusion at her theatrics over a sprained ankle, Natasha even raising an eyebrow as she watched Diana groan.

Steve went over to the collapsed girl, poking her a bit with his foot. "Give it a couple hours, it'll heal. Relax-" She grabbed his ankle and pulled him down, fury and pain in her eyes as she used her arm to push herself up as her hand continued to hold onto the supersoldier's ankle.

"I'm sorry, _super soldier_. Do you recall that I am  _not_ super-serum, a superspy, a genius billionaire, or a god? I am human, I have not been experimented on. This will take me about two weeks to heal, not a few fucking hours, you patriotic piece of shit-" He covered her mouth to stop any more curses from being released from her mouth, wincing in pain as he yelped in surprise. 

"Did you just bite me?" 

"Boohoo, I bit you. Will it bleed? _Do you bleed?_ Who am I kidding, you probably bleed red, white, and blue."

"Why does it hurt so much?" She stared at curious redhead superspy, who had been the one to ask the question.

Diana groaned, her brain releasing the adrenaline that had kept her pain in check. "I'm a fucking normal human being, you alien weirdoes! Now help me!" They ran over to assist her in moving to the medical bay. 

 

* * *

 

She stared at her room. It had only been yesterday that Steve had sparred with her and caused her to sprain her ankle, and they had gone to the med bay to help her with the brace that she needed to heal her foot, if not needing a few weeks. But now her room was full of Avengers merchandise and a giant stuffed bear. "What the fuck."

She maneuvered around the figurines and shirts, limping to the living room. There, Diana found solace as she flicked through the channels on the TV, settling on a channel talking about the weather. She had sat there, watching with lidded eyes as she started to nod off. 

Living with superspies and heroes had trained your senses, and right now you heard the footsteps of Tony Stark tiptoeing towards her room when he found her in the common room. "Diana!" He hid something behind his back, looking guilty as she narrowed her eyes at his suspicious behaviour.

"Tony... What is that?" He laughed awkwardly, his normal charm gone. "It's nothing, Diana. You should be in your room, did you like the gifts and everything that we got, we just went to random gift shops around New York to find them-" She held her hand out, and he sighed, revealing what he had hidden.

It was a syringe with an orange glowing substance that Diana remembered. "Is that Extremis? Where the fuck did you get that-" She paused, realizing what his obvious intent was. "You better fucking not!" She backed off the couch, screeching in pain as she landed badly on her brace. Tony's eyes flashed with the slightest of worry as he realized what she had landed on (her foot, _ouch_ ), but waved around the needle.

"Which is why you should have some of this lovely, glowing,  _healing_ serum that will help you heal in a few hours..." She started crawling away from Tony, pointing an accusing finger at the genius.

"You're  _not_ injecting me with that glowing shit, Stark. You can fuck off." Slowly, she leaned up against the wall and limped off somewhere else. She flipped him off, declaring officially that, "I am  _a normal_ human, not a  _genius_ or a  _supersoldier_ , and also not a _super spy._ So no, I'm normal and I'm gonna stay normal." She sighed, continuing her slow trek to somewhere else better, with **out** a genius billionaire philanthropist trying to inject her with an unnatural serum.

And it was going to plan, escaping Tony slowly. That is until Steve Rogers swooped in and carried her bridal style off somewhere. She screeched in shock. "Wait, what are you doing? Let go!" She swore she could hear Tony (that  _fucking witch_ ) cackle at her.

 

* * *

 

"Steve, what are you doing?" Diana looked at the man curiously, noticing the slight glint of guilt in his eyes.

"Are you being a guilty boy again?" She teased, smiling at the supersoldier. "If it makes you feel any better, I _did_ bite you in retaliation." He chuckled a bit, remembering when she bit his hand after he tried to stop her from being the potty mouth she was. He was still walking to some unknown destination.

He let out a sigh. "But I completely forgot that you were a normal human being. And I shouldn't, because I used to be a normal human." Steve continued to walk around as she tried to roll her hurt ankle. "You really shouldn't do that. I've been reading up on sprained injuries and-"

Diana held up a finger, stopping him in his words. "Hold up. When you say 'read up', do you mean reading as in a book or as in reading on the internet?" He gave her a look. "Right, books." She gave him finger guns, winking at him as he cringed at her wisecrack. He let out a low hum, looking up as he continued his trek around the Tower.

Accidently, he smashed her head against the wall. She let out a cry of pain, clutching her head in pain. "Steve! What are you doing?" She grumbled obscene words, crossing her arms and huffing like a child. 

He gave her a sheepish grin as he walked to the elevator, entering another recreation room and sitting down, setting Diana down by the side. Diana sighed as the strain went off her ankle and into her bum, a relatively more preferred option. "We could watch a movie while you recover. Or read a book. A video game? A board game? Cards? What about-" She started laughing, wiping her tears away as she grabbed his shoulder, heaving deep breaths as she attempted to recover from her laughter. "Uh, a hug?"

Her laughter abruptly stopped as he grabbed her sides, playing a movie (Ironically, it was the Incredibles 2) while he cuddled his younger assistant (because honestly, Diana was there as there nanny but they wouldn't admit it). "Steve, what are- You're cuddling me." He nodded, tightening his hold as he smiled at the movie's scenes.

"Yeah, if I have super strength, speed, agility, and other things... I must have some undiscovered powers, like... Snuggling!" He grinned as she groaned in pain and discomfort.

"Steve, cuddling is  _not_ a superpower. No matter how much you try." She pushed at his arms, struggling to push away at his strong hug. "Someone help me please-" He laughed her struggling.

"Steve, let  _go_ of me."

She gave up. And bit Captain America. Again.

He let go, yelling in surprise more than the pain that she had once again bit him. "Diana, really?" 

"You won't react to my punches, kicks, or words. So I'll just bite." She rolled off the couch, smiling awkwardly as she stood up from her position, wincing as she went towards another wall, attempting to limp away from him before some other superhero whisked her off her feet. 

"Yoink!" She felt her body start to float, her limbs flaying around as she recognized the familiar red glow around her body.

"Wanda Maximoff, what the  _fuck do you think you're doing_ \- And that's gonna be another secret, great." She sighed, adjusting her body into a sitting position, an amusing pose while she floated in the air. She hoped it wasn't going to be another screwed up 'adventure' in the Tower.

 

* * *

 

"Boys are troubling." Wanda had brought Diana to the injured assistant's room again, setting her down on her bed, Thor appearing out of nowhere along with Natasha. "So we thought we could have girl time."

Diana stared at the god. "But... Thor?"

"He's good at braiding hair, and has funny commentary for movies." Diana slowly nodded, not exactly agreeing with their ideas but not disagreeing.

"I'm not even gonna ask." It must have been the excessive amount of pranks the heroes had played on her for her instinct to move so quickly, because her eyes had caught the motion outside the window. "Oh my god, Natasha move-" The superspy had barely moved in time before the stupid birds had crashed through her window, scattering glass everywhere.

"So, what are you birds doing?" They gave her a sheepish grin, Sam biting his lip to stop himself from laughing at her incredulous expression. Hawkeye shrugged.

"Heard you girls were having a night, and Thor was invited." Diana had completely forgotten. Those two were the petty birds. So close to pretty, but not close enough.

Wanda sighed. "Just join. No Starks or Rogers allowed." They nodded in a semi-confusion, having not seen what the two leaders of the Avengers had done to 'help' Diana through her injury. "Movie time, I suppose."

Diana shrugged. "As long as you guys don't try to make cuddling a superpower or inject me with an experimental serum, I'll be fine with  _anything._ " They raised their eyebrows, Clint whipping off his purple sunglasses with a dangerous glint in his eyes.

" _Any_ thing?"

"Well shit. Let's just watch the movie and not prank anyone or anything. I call movie choice!" They all groaned as Diana called shotgun on movie selection, Sam throwing off his wingpack onto the ground as he collapsed onto her bed. 

Diana chose Batman V. Superman, all of them complaining about the lack of creativity while Diana (ever the positive woman) tried to defend a few parts of the movie that stood out to her. They continued to throw popcorn at the darker scenes, unable to see what was happening on the screen. The woman had retaliated, complaining that she would be the one who would have to clean up the mess of food later.

The movie played to the climax, when Batman was busy trying to kill Superman and- " _Martha..._ " All of them booed at the lame excuse of a plot finalizer. "Y'all are just being rude. The only reason Bruce stopped was because when Superman was going to die, he tried to save his mother- Hit me again, Wanda, and I will bite your fingers off." 

Diana yawned. Everything during the day had made her tired, and the dark room wasn't making it any easier. The movie was low and grumbling was the only sound in the room, nodding off as the sound of gunfire lulled the nanny to sleep. Thor's fingers braiding her hair were comfortable, the slight tug making her sigh in content. Then she sensed it. The too quiet room, the only sounds being the movie playing in the background. 

Her eyes snapped open, her protective knife that Natasha had given her in her hands and directed towards the person who had dared tried to prank her. 

Clint's sunglasses had slid off, sharpie in his hand as he watched two strands of hair floating down from where she had sliced.

"I may be limping but I can still stab you." Clint's hand slowly neared her face again. "DO NOT EVEN TRY TO DRAW ON ME, YOU MOTHERFUCKER-" She leaped back, landing badly on her foot, again. She fell with a flurry of curses again, just like the first time she had sprained her ankle.

Wanda's hands glowed in the dark room, lifting all the heroes from their seated positions. They let out upset sounds of protest as they were floated out of the room, Wanda giving Diana an 'I'm sorry' face before exiting. 

Diana sighed. Heroes were interesting to be around, but it didn't make them any more tolerable than children. 

 

* * *

 

"I'm finally out of the fucking brace!" She announced, running into the room excitedly. Tony raised his eyebrows at her excitement.

He let out a dramatic sigh. "You could have healed a  _lot_ faster with Extremis..."

She glared at him. "I'm human, and I'm  _staying human._ " He raised his eyebrows again, raising his hands in surrender at her ferocity.

**Author's Note:**

> The author prays that the readers don't judge her for implementing her OC into Earth-199999 (the MCU). She cautiously maneuvers around the angry crowds and looks for the semi-friendly ones.
> 
> Lmao did you get that reference? :3 Did you see it? :D


End file.
